Bent old crone

I sat down at the dining table, laptop and mobile phone ready to transfer photographs and my back went. Just like that. Don't know where it went to, but I've now got the back of some bent old crone.
I can't straighten up and I have to take little shuffling steps. It's even painful to sit up straight.I tried lying flat on the floor and gently stretching out. That took some doing - just getting down to floor level. I had to lie with my knees bent as it hurt to strighten my legs.I've now taken some strong pain killers and I'm beginning to feel a bit stoned so I'll probably have to succumb to being a couch potato for the rest of the day until I get my own back back (can I say that - is it good grammar - who cares?)
I won't be able to clean the kitchen (shame). Today is the first decently dry day we've had for a week but I won't be able to mow the lawn. I'll have to get Inspector Gadget (that's Adrian, who I live with) to do it when he gets home from work. People who know me will know why he's called Inspector Gadget. And people who don't know me can probably guess.
Well, I need to creakily unwind myself as far as possible from this computer chair and try to relax my spine in front of the telly.
More later if I can make it back up the stairs.