Back to work ... or not....

I've registered with a teaching agency and half heartedly let them know when I'm available but not really followed it up with phone calls each morning.
Now, is this because I'm quite happy for the moment living off my savings (bad idea perhaps) or is it because I'm scared of going back into the classroom?

I'd be happy to be in a job. In fact I have an assessment day coming up to work in the civil service and I'm quite excited about that. In the meantime I need to be earning some money and supply teaching would fit the bill nicely.

The problem is that the last time I was in a classroom I was very distressed and I haven't been back since. I keep saying that I'm waiting for another authority to get my documents together because I'd rather work for them - but is that just an excuse? What will I do when they say they are ready to find me work?

I sometimes think I never want to be in a room with a lot of children again. What other job is there where most of the work you do has to be done in your own spare time? It's ridiculous. And once you have spent all that time at home preparing your work you then have to teach it to the letter (God forbid you should make a small mistake or miss out a question you planned to ask) to a class of children, most of whom couldn't give a shit. You can't go to the toilet; you can't have a drink until the children go out of school, providing you're not occupied by dealing with injured, sick or naughty children; you have to work through your lunch to get equipment prepared for the afternoon because you are no longer allowed to ask children to help as they would lose a few minutes learning; you can't let your attention wander for one second from what is happening around you whilst teaching children with ever widening abilities; you get a bad back from bending over; and if your walls aren't covered with fully interactive, colourful and imaginative displays then it's considered that you are depriving the children of the opportunities they are all entitled to. Sounds crap.

It didn't use to be, so what's happened? It used to be fun teaching children new things, being creative with them, watching them grow intelectually, helping them to achieve. Teachers always took into account children's differing abilities and learning styles. They always prepared resources to help some children learn in alternative ways to others because they are professional and caring people. For the last few years though teachers have been made to feel as if they have been slacking until the experts showed that more paperwork was the way to improve.

Perhaps I've answered my own questions now. I think I'm too angry to go into a school at the moment.